Friday, May 14, 2010

Let's Get Down to Business

.... to defeat... the Huns....

Just kidding.

I tried to make a tap dance routine to that song for the 5th grade talent show but my mom wouldn't let me because she said people would think I was weird if I danced to a song called "Be a Man."

I know I have sucked it up with updates, but this post is my attempt at redemption.

I am SO stoked to report the current standings- I have reached 92% of my support raising goal!! God has been so faithful throughout all of this and has shown me how truly generous some people are. It is so easy to get discouraged when trying to complete a task like this, but it is further proof to me that nothing is impossible when God is in control.
I would like to thank:
David Peterson
Kristy Simmons
Rachel Snowden
Brittany Trimble

I love that all four of those people are my college friends. I honestly cannot even begin to count my blessings. I really think I am one of the luckiest people on the planet. Sure, this has been the crappiest year of my life. My whole world has been turned upside down so many times that I have no idea which way is up anymore, I just know I have to keep swimming. I think that a lot of times when we go through trials, we try and admit that we come out "stronger" on the other side. But that is totally not the case right now. I am not stronger. I am not necessarily "weaker" in the way most see it either, but I am definitely not stronger. So often as we grow up we become more and more independent until we reach a stage we consider "self-sufficiency." Well, quite frankly, self sufficiency sucks. Sure, its nice to not depend on someone else for food, transportation, major decision making, etc. But the more broken you are, the less able you are to pick yourself back up.
This year I have relied more on God than ever before. This has always been hard, I don't like giving up control (see my entry on "surrender") I have always been worried that if I put all my hope in God, He would take away the amazing people in my life because I wouldn't need them. But on the contrary, I found that when I turned it all over to Him, whether that was a whisper in my head during my daily routine or practically shouted as I lay face down in bed, angry at the world, there was someone there with the right words. When I prayed for an opportunity to just express the crazy emotions I felt, I would arrive at dance to find that we were working on a particularly emotional section of the piece. When I just needed to smile to feel like everything would be okay, I would walk into Sign Language class and see the beautiful faces of my friends who could make me laugh if it was the last thing I wanted to do. When I needed to cry, I would stumble upon someone from Theta Alpha who just happened to have tissues, an encouraging word, and, to the benefit of my soul but the detriment of my waistline, some sort of comfort food. When I needed encouragement, my community group was there. I had people holding me accountable for everything from actually attending class (although we all know thats the least important thing in college) to spending time with God every day even when I was pissed beyond recognition at Him.
No matter how hard I tried to escape, someone blocked my exit. And I am so thankful.

So here I stand. 18 days before my biggest adventure to date. Not strong enough to do it on my own. But wise enough to know thats not the way to go anyways.

"It's waiting for you, knocking at your door
In the moment of truth when your heart hits the floor,
and you're on your knees...

Love will hold us together,
make us a shelter to weather the storm.
And I'll be my brother's keeper
And the whole world will know that we're not alone"

-Hold Us Together by Matt Maher


In Christ,
Kelly

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