FIGHT

Well friends,
I am home. Project is over for staff. Sad.

That was the fastest six weeks of my life.

It will probably take a few entries over the next few weeks to finish things off. First of all, I am not by any means done processing what God taught me this summer. But I can definitely share stories as we go through that journey together.

Second, although I am home, project is not over! Just like last summer, staff leaves halfway through the summer, except this time, I am not stepping up into leadership, I am stepping down. The students now hold the reins of the Walt Disney World Summer Project. I can't wait to see how God moves through them. I will be sharing more of their stories as time goes on.

Again, I failed majorly at updating in a timely manner this summer.

But here is a story for now. One of those moments, kind of like what I shared in the last entry, where I just gripped that surfboard with my toes and held on for dear life.

If you ask just about any female student or staff member where they learned the most this summer, they would probably answer that Women's Time was that place. Our theme for the summer was FIGHT. Every Thursday morning, we got together as women and talked about what we could FIGHT for-
Freedom
Identity
Grace
Humility
Truth

Every week, one or two of us staff women led the discussion by sharing personal stories about how we have learned to fight for these things in our own life. I cannot describe how powerful this time was to all of us. I can't explain how it happened other than we prayed and God showed up. He used each one of us, despite our own failures and weaknesses, and moved mountains in the lives of the students and each other.

The staff women of WDWSP11- (top, left to right) -Patreeya, Chelsea, Lindsey, Sarah, Paige (bottom) me, Nicole, and Alicia.

I think I posted a few pictures of this on my facebook page, but we gave each girl a pink boxing glove to keep as a reminder of what we learned to fight for this summer. Each week, they wrote bible verses and key phrases about what we learned about this week. We took this picture the last week of women's time with all of us together.

The first week, Lindsey talked about freedom. We talked about freedom from having to put on that mask. Freedom to be real with each other, to live in the light and to talk about the hard stuff that nobody really wants to talk about. The next week Sarah talked about identity. What will they remember our generation for in the future? How do people identify us? How do our actions reflect what we believe? The next week, Nicole and Alicia talked about grace. I talked a lot about grace in my last entry. Unmerited favor. Undeserved love. Forgiveness. We talked about what it means to both accept God's grace and extend it. Extending it to everyone, for that matter, whether it is a family member who hurt you, a friend who betrayed you, or your roommate who didn't clean out her cereal bowl this morning. The next week, I got to tag team with Chelsea, who I loved working with. We also got to lead another lesson together for the whole project. More on that in another entry. Chelsea talked about reflecting Christ's humility in all that we do and I got to share some stories about how God grew me in this area last year on project. I know I have old entries about that, feel free to go back and look if you are curious. The last week, we had a Q&A panel with the staff and Patreeya and Paige talked about what it means to believe the truth of God's word and not the lies we can feed into. These lies tell us we are not good enough, we are not worthy of love, we are not beautiful. But God says something different.

Anyways, here is a story.

The last week was an incredibly powerful one for all of us. Just thinking about all of the lies that run through my head on a daily basis was pretty overwhelming. In all of our project activities, students are encouraged to invite their co-workers, and every week more girls sat in on our talks. There are several international students who attend many weekly events throughout the year held by CRU@WDW and they were regulars at all of our meetings. After women's time, I squeezed people in my car to take back to their apartments. All of the Disney interns live in housing a few minutes from property. This was a pretty busy day for everyone so instead of taking two cars, six of us squeezed in my Honda Accord (don't tell my mom.) Angelica from Colombia, Sam from New Zealand, Trish from Australia, Aki from Japan, and Evelyn from Panama. Quite the spread.

We started off just chatting and conversation eventually turned to the topic from that morning, but right before everyone was about to get out of the car, Angelica asked me to talk a little more about something I had mentioned early that morning during the Q&A session. Students submitted questions to us anonymously and we answered them as honestly as we could. One of the questions pertained to being single and how to cope with the lonliness of it. I felt like everyones eyes turned to me for this one. I know that is a lie my mind made up, but when this was read, I knew I had to say something, seeing as how I was the only one out of all 8 staff ladies without a boyfriend or husband. Everyone had something to say about how at one time or another they were single, but I felt like the spotlight was on me, Single Girl, to divulge my secret on how I don't cry myself to sleep every night over my solo state.

Truthfully, I don't really have a secret. I shared with the girls that although I am not thrilled, I am content with where God has me. Yes, I have been single for almost 23 years. I have never been in a serious relationship. I have come to a place where I am able to admit that without shame though. I struggle with enough on a daily basis without having a broken heart to mend. I see it as a blessing nowadays moreso than a curse. I have been there when I felt like something was wrong with me. But now I know there is not something wrong with me, there was just something wrong with my plan- it didn't match up with God's. He has shown me that I idolize so much in my life. I put so many things before God without realizing it- grades, friendships, dance, power... there is no doubt in my mind that I would have definitely put a boy before God too, if I had one. And well, that just spells out devastation for my oversensitive heart. And again, I feel blessed and loved when I think about how I have been spared that thus far. I don't know what the future holds, but I trust God that it is what is best me. Well, maybe not best for me. Best for God's kingdom and His glory. My life is surrendered to Him, and I want to be used for His glory (please remind me of this next time I try to run the other way. As in probably a dozen times within the next day).

I shared all of this during the Q&A session, but we ended up going even deeper in the car. We talked about that sermon I mentioned a few weeks ago about how God is enough. I knew I was speaking just as much to myself as I was the other girls in the car- nothing can satisfy us except God. Not fame, attention, fortune, success, friends, alcohol, boys, sex, a family, etc. Not all of these things are bad, actually none of these things are necessarily bad in the right circumstances and proper amounts, but when we count them as more important than God, they will only disappoint us and leave us wanting more.

The six of us shared heartfelt stories of pain and triumph for almost 45 minutes in the parking lot of the apartments. Stories of lies we had listened to- there is something wrong with you because you are single. You are always going to be alone. There are no good boys left out there. You aren't pretty enough. Nobody wants you.

Then we talked about the truths- God sees us as his perfect creation. We will never be alone. God will be faithful in the promises He has made. God sees us as his beautiful daughters. And God loves us so much and wanted to be in community with us so much that he sacrificed his Son for us.

Have you ever had one of those Hollywood moments where time just seems to slow down for a second and something clicks into place in your brain and your don't seem to hear the outside world for a little bit? Well there I was in the midst of this conversation, when something in my brain told me to stop. Take this in. Look at where you are. You are in a car with a girl from Japan, a girl from Columbia, a girl from Panama, a girl from New Zealand, and a girl from Australia. Six women who, across four different continents have experienced exactly the same thing and who have exactly the same Savior.

Christians like to throw around fancy terms for this. God is omniscient (all knowing) omnipotent (all powerful) and omnipresent (in all places). This one second was probably one of the most stunning and personal examples of the "omni" God I have ever encountered. God is not just for white, middle class Americans. He doesn't exist to fix our little problems or to make us wealthy. God is for broken hearted humans. And that has no boundaries. No boundaries of country, continent, or culture. No race or ethnicity or hair color or tax bracket. Pain is universal. But, lucky for us, God created this universe. Six girls, relatively the same age, who have experienced the same heartache across cultures and came to the same conclusion- there has GOT to be something more than this. And thanks in part to Disney World, we got to share in that moment together.

Aki and her friend Mai with me at our mid-project banquet.

Evelyn and I at our mid-project banquet



I don't know what time and distance will do to the relationship between the six of us. I hope that we can remain friends forever, and I wish more than anything that money was not limited and that I could freely travel and visit each of them in their home country. But I do know one thing. I will never forget that moment.

Thank you God, for moments like that.

More stories to come.
Love,
Kel

Send Me

"You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give"
- Winston Churchill

Oh goodness. I don't even know where to begin with this one.

It has only been a few days since I last updated (I know, shocking) but I feel like I could type for hours on end about what I have been learning.

Wednesday was our actual Surf Day for WDWSP11, which is still one of my favorite days on project. We all piled in cars and headed to Cocoa beach to ride the waves. When we left Kissimmee, it was over a hundred degrees outside with the sun threatening to scorch the very hair off our arms. By the time we reached Cocoa an hour later, in typical Florida fashion, the sky was heavy with the menacing threat of rain and thunder. As dozens of tourists flooded from the sands towards the safety of their rental cars, we grouped up to discuss the first activity of the day, which was going out and talking to people about faith using a tool called Soularium, which is basically a set of pictures that go with questions like "Which three images would you choose to describe your life?" and "Which image best represents your view of God?"

This tool is designed to engage people in spiritual conversations in a way that is relevant to our culture- through really cool pictures. As a creativity-driven visual learner, I just love using this. Don't get me wrong, I would still rather engage in a spiritual conversation with someone I have built a relationship with than a complete stranger, but heck, I would rather do just about anything with someone I know than a stranger. But anyways, we divided up into pairs and braved what felt like egg-sized raindrops and tromped down to the waters edge. Alicia(a fellow staff girl and one of my dearest new friends) and I asked a young couple, lets call them John and Jane, if we could go through the pictures with them. They said yes, and we sat down and went through the pictures together and just generally talked about life for over an hour. John was raised in a Catholic home and had a bad taste for religion because of his experience. Jane was raised going to a non-denominational church, and after a few years of rebelling against it, had started going back. She really loved God- you could just see it in her eyes when she talked about her relationship with Him. Anyways, they opened to us about how they were struggling with their religious differences and it was actually preventing them from getting engaged.

We talked a long time about the difference between "religion" and "relationship," because Christianity is not just a religion. It is about actually being in a relationship with God. It isn't just a set of rules, it is a Father who loves you as a son or daughter whom he has adopted. Alicia and I both got to share a little bit of our life stories with them, giving them examples of how trusting God has made an impact on our lives. By the end of the conversation, Jane was sharing with us about how she does Mary Kay type jewelry parties, and Alicia said she was interested in knowing more, so Alicia and Jane (important point I forgot to make- they were staying in Orlando on vacation from Cali) set up a coffee date later on in the week so they could talk more about the home jewelry business. We said our goodbyes and went to meet up with the rest of the project.

We spent the afternoon on the waves, and boy, was it good to be back. I know I wrote last year about how it was an incredible metaphor for living by faith- getting out in the water time after time, regardless of how well our last ride went. The rush of standing up on a piece of plastic and being pushed along by something so powerful... I can't even describe that feeling. I also got to help teach all of the new students how to surf and I spent a lot of time giving them a push into the waves (they were pretty puny compared to what I have seen the Atlantic produce. But puny is good for learning). I smiled to myself countless times that day at the beautiful metaphor God was creating for me. Here I was, one year after the experience that changed my life forever. The people were new and the waves were new, but once again I found myself sitting in a lineup of people who were courageously, nervously, and excitedly waiting for what the next swell would bring. This time I wasn't just riding the waves myself, but I was coming alongside students, encouraging and reassuring them that nothing was impossible. Sharing my experience, providing a nudge, giving tips and pointers. And, every once in a while, a sweet wave came along that I got to ride.

One of those metaphorical waves started there and continued way past Cocoa Beach. A few days after our adventure, Alicia met with Jane for their coffee date. John came too, and when he got up to buy the coffee, Jane turned to Alicia and said "You will NEVER believe what happened after you and Kelly left us the other day"

Ready for some chills?

Apparently, religion has been one of the main sources of their arguments for years. They had been dating over five years, and it was one of the only things keeping them from moving on to the next stage in life. The night before we met them on the beach, it came up again. John said he was having a hard time believing in God and that he didn't like all the rules that came along with religion (he told us this on the beach too.) But what neither of them told us on the beach was how that conversation ended. Just about 12 hours before we plopped down next to their towels, John had ended the argument by saying something along the lines of "God, if you are real, please show me a sign."

Enter Alicia and myself. As we walked away after our conversation, John turned to Jane and said "That was my sign."

Apparently our conversation had touched on all of the things he was struggling with, especially the concept of grace. Grace is something tricky to understand. Growing up, my only concept of grace came from ballet. Grace was the prima ballerina who moved so effortlessly, like she was guided by the air. Now, grace is a gift. Imagine the best Christmas/birthday/Hanukkah/whatever reason gift you have ever received. Now imagine a gift that you got that blew away your expectations. Something you never ever deserved. That, my friends, is grace. It is forgiveness without conditions. It is love despite betrayal. God has a neverending supply of grace despite our constant failure, and it is displayed most poignantly through the gift of Jesus, the only perfect person to walk this Earth. Jesus, out of his great love for us, took all our punishment upon him when he died a humiliating, criminals death. What we were left with was grace.

That afternoon, John and Jane talked honestly for the first time about what it would look like to be married and have God at the center of their marriage and their lives. That night, John proposed.

He bought the ring months ago and has been carrying it around, waiting till the time was right.

Like I said at the beginning of this entry. I am not a huge fan of walking up to strangers and asking them what they believe. I am ashamed to admit this fear has kept me from engaging in a spiritual conversation when I outright felt God telling me to do so. Thank goodness God is more powerful than me and can compensate for my screw ups. And again, I am thankful for His grace. And I am so glad He gave me the courage to go out and surf some waves that day, even when the pickings were slim. I don't think I am going to be so afraid now. Yes, I may crash and burn 99% of the time. And although I am positive this was a rather unique experience, that thrill of feeling something powerful moving all around you, that thrill is worth every single wipeout that comes along the way.

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?
And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
-Isaiah 6:8


Kel