I am home. Project is over for staff. Sad.
That was the fastest six weeks of my life.
It will probably take a few entries over the next few weeks to finish things off. First of all, I am not by any means done processing what God taught me this summer. But I can definitely share stories as we go through that journey together.
Second, although I am home, project is not over! Just like last summer, staff leaves halfway through the summer, except this time, I am not stepping up into leadership, I am stepping down. The students now hold the reins of the Walt Disney World Summer Project. I can't wait to see how God moves through them. I will be sharing more of their stories as time goes on.
Again, I failed majorly at updating in a timely manner this summer.
But here is a story for now. One of those moments, kind of like what I shared in the last entry, where I just gripped that surfboard with my toes and held on for dear life.
If you ask just about any female student or staff member where they learned the most this summer, they would probably answer that Women's Time was that place. Our theme for the summer was FIGHT. Every Thursday morning, we got together as women and talked about what we could FIGHT for-
Freedom
Identity
Grace
Humility
Truth
Every week, one or two of us staff women led the discussion by sharing personal stories about how we have learned to fight for these things in our own life. I cannot describe how powerful this time was to all of us. I can't explain how it happened other than we prayed and God showed up. He used each one of us, despite our own failures and weaknesses, and moved mountains in the lives of the students and each other.
I think I posted a few pictures of this on my facebook page, but we gave each girl a pink boxing glove to keep as a reminder of what we learned to fight for this summer. Each week, they wrote bible verses and key phrases about what we learned about this week. We took this picture the last week of women's time with all of us together.
The first week, Lindsey talked about freedom. We talked about freedom from having to put on that mask. Freedom to be real with each other, to live in the light and to talk about the hard stuff that nobody really wants to talk about. The next week Sarah talked about identity. What will they remember our generation for in the future? How do people identify us? How do our actions reflect what we believe? The next week, Nicole and Alicia talked about grace. I talked a lot about grace in my last entry. Unmerited favor. Undeserved love. Forgiveness. We talked about what it means to both accept God's grace and extend it. Extending it to everyone, for that matter, whether it is a family member who hurt you, a friend who betrayed you, or your roommate who didn't clean out her cereal bowl this morning. The next week, I got to tag team with Chelsea, who I loved working with. We also got to lead another lesson together for the whole project. More on that in another entry. Chelsea talked about reflecting Christ's humility in all that we do and I got to share some stories about how God grew me in this area last year on project. I know I have old entries about that, feel free to go back and look if you are curious. The last week, we had a Q&A panel with the staff and Patreeya and Paige talked about what it means to believe the truth of God's word and not the lies we can feed into. These lies tell us we are not good enough, we are not worthy of love, we are not beautiful. But God says something different.
Anyways, here is a story.
The last week was an incredibly powerful one for all of us. Just thinking about all of the lies that run through my head on a daily basis was pretty overwhelming. In all of our project activities, students are encouraged to invite their co-workers, and every week more girls sat in on our talks. There are several international students who attend many weekly events throughout the year held by CRU@WDW and they were regulars at all of our meetings. After women's time, I squeezed people in my car to take back to their apartments. All of the Disney interns live in housing a few minutes from property. This was a pretty busy day for everyone so instead of taking two cars, six of us squeezed in my Honda Accord (don't tell my mom.) Angelica from Colombia, Sam from New Zealand, Trish from Australia, Aki from Japan, and Evelyn from Panama. Quite the spread.
We started off just chatting and conversation eventually turned to the topic from that morning, but right before everyone was about to get out of the car, Angelica asked me to talk a little more about something I had mentioned early that morning during the Q&A session. Students submitted questions to us anonymously and we answered them as honestly as we could. One of the questions pertained to being single and how to cope with the lonliness of it. I felt like everyones eyes turned to me for this one. I know that is a lie my mind made up, but when this was read, I knew I had to say something, seeing as how I was the only one out of all 8 staff ladies without a boyfriend or husband. Everyone had something to say about how at one time or another they were single, but I felt like the spotlight was on me, Single Girl, to divulge my secret on how I don't cry myself to sleep every night over my solo state.
Truthfully, I don't really have a secret. I shared with the girls that although I am not thrilled, I am content with where God has me. Yes, I have been single for almost 23 years. I have never been in a serious relationship. I have come to a place where I am able to admit that without shame though. I struggle with enough on a daily basis without having a broken heart to mend. I see it as a blessing nowadays moreso than a curse. I have been there when I felt like something was wrong with me. But now I know there is not something wrong with me, there was just something wrong with my plan- it didn't match up with God's. He has shown me that I idolize so much in my life. I put so many things before God without realizing it- grades, friendships, dance, power... there is no doubt in my mind that I would have definitely put a boy before God too, if I had one. And well, that just spells out devastation for my oversensitive heart. And again, I feel blessed and loved when I think about how I have been spared that thus far. I don't know what the future holds, but I trust God that it is what is best me. Well, maybe not best for me. Best for God's kingdom and His glory. My life is surrendered to Him, and I want to be used for His glory (please remind me of this next time I try to run the other way. As in probably a dozen times within the next day).
I shared all of this during the Q&A session, but we ended up going even deeper in the car. We talked about that sermon I mentioned a few weeks ago about how God is enough. I knew I was speaking just as much to myself as I was the other girls in the car- nothing can satisfy us except God. Not fame, attention, fortune, success, friends, alcohol, boys, sex, a family, etc. Not all of these things are bad, actually none of these things are necessarily bad in the right circumstances and proper amounts, but when we count them as more important than God, they will only disappoint us and leave us wanting more.
The six of us shared heartfelt stories of pain and triumph for almost 45 minutes in the parking lot of the apartments. Stories of lies we had listened to- there is something wrong with you because you are single. You are always going to be alone. There are no good boys left out there. You aren't pretty enough. Nobody wants you.
Then we talked about the truths- God sees us as his perfect creation. We will never be alone. God will be faithful in the promises He has made. God sees us as his beautiful daughters. And God loves us so much and wanted to be in community with us so much that he sacrificed his Son for us.
Have you ever had one of those Hollywood moments where time just seems to slow down for a second and something clicks into place in your brain and your don't seem to hear the outside world for a little bit? Well there I was in the midst of this conversation, when something in my brain told me to stop. Take this in. Look at where you are. You are in a car with a girl from Japan, a girl from Columbia, a girl from Panama, a girl from New Zealand, and a girl from Australia. Six women who, across four different continents have experienced exactly the same thing and who have exactly the same Savior.
Christians like to throw around fancy terms for this. God is omniscient (all knowing) omnipotent (all powerful) and omnipresent (in all places). This one second was probably one of the most stunning and personal examples of the "omni" God I have ever encountered. God is not just for white, middle class Americans. He doesn't exist to fix our little problems or to make us wealthy. God is for broken hearted humans. And that has no boundaries. No boundaries of country, continent, or culture. No race or ethnicity or hair color or tax bracket. Pain is universal. But, lucky for us, God created this universe. Six girls, relatively the same age, who have experienced the same heartache across cultures and came to the same conclusion- there has GOT to be something more than this. And thanks in part to Disney World, we got to share in that moment together.
Evelyn and I at our mid-project banquet
I don't know what time and distance will do to the relationship between the six of us. I hope that we can remain friends forever, and I wish more than anything that money was not limited and that I could freely travel and visit each of them in their home country. But I do know one thing. I will never forget that moment.
Thank you God, for moments like that.
More stories to come.
Love,
Kel
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